Kyle Stanger (#030)
It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, how much money you have, who is supporting you or teaching you, what degree you have or anything else.
Company: Boys Get Sad Too
Stage: Pre-Seed
Headcount: 6
Tell us your story
My name is Kyle Stanger. I’m 24 years old and I live in SW London with my girlfriend and my dog. My journey with mental health started from a very early age as I grew up supporting a family member who struggled with clinical depression for many years. I always felt like this was how normal life was and didn’t realise I was dealing with a situation which was not necessarily the norm for many. When you are faced with a situation like this, especially at an early age, I don’t think you really process the severity of the situation. You just do what you can to try and support and help someone you care about through a difficult time.
When I turned 17, I began to realise that my brain was just like my family member’s and I was also susceptible to feeling depressed and anxious. I was failing my A-levels and was absolutely miserable. I think during this period of time I didn’t really know what was going on. I felt like my life had no real direction and wasn’t moving anywhere.
Now, looking back on it, I know that this wasn’t true but it was difficult to put it in real context at the time. After spending many nights confused and anxious, I went to my local GP and was offered talking therapy. After six sessions, I came to the conclusion that I had neglected addressing my own emotions and feelings, and feeling like everyone else’s issues were almost always more important than mine. I couldn’t believe how much of a relief it was to get certain things off my chest! I left those six sessions feeling like a new person.
Of course, my journey wasn’t over and I have to work every single day to ensure my mental health is in a good place. Some people unfortunately just have brains that mean they’re more susceptible to low moods and anxiety than others. It’s not a negative thing but I find it’s important to understand this to work towards a happier, healthier mental place.
From the ages of 17 to around 21, I watched several people I knew become affected or be affected by mental health in a variety of different ways. At the time I was working as a model and feeling unfulfilled. I decided to do a charity fundraiser involving clothing which was thought-provoking and would allow people to start conversations around mental health that people are otherwise not that open to.
Boys Get Sad Too was never intended to be the brand that it turned into. It just so happened that when you put something into the world which is truly authentic, people naturally gravitate towards it. I couldn’t believe how many people messaged me from all over the world after simply having seen our Instagram account. I knew then that I had accidentally stumbled across something which was quite special and through the encouragement of our community and demand for more products, I was able to grow the brand from my parent’s spare bedroom to the point that it is today.
I always say to people that mentally, Boys Get Sad Too has probably helped me more than anything else, given me drive focus and I wake up every single day excited to have the opportunity to try and influence people to think in a way that is kinder to themselves and other people.
Reading the feedback that we get is truly amazing. I’m very proud of what we have achieved so far and can’t wait to see what the future holds. Boys Get Sad Too was started with absolutely no budget, no financial support, no investors and certainly no business advisors or snazzy marketing team. I just knew that I wanted to do something to make a difference and it was this passion and drive that has led us to this point.
Tell us a story that has really resonated with you
There was an Instagram post I saw that really stuck with me. It said that rather than discrediting people who record themselves being “Good Samaritans” on social media we should praise them.
Filming yourself doing something good in the correct way will encourage and help other people on social media who see it to also go out and do good. We are a product of the things that we see and the experiences we have. If we see more people doing good things and more people putting good out into the world, it will only encourage others to do the same.
In my experience, there are actually lots of people out there who believe that those sharing content on social media explaining helpful, supportive or charitable work are attention seeking and looking for credit. Many more than you might think. We should try and stay clear of these thoughts. Sharing what you do is important and can encourage others to follow suit and do their bit to help other people.
What can’t you stop thinking about?
Work to be honest! Boys Get Sad Too is on my mind 24/7. When I tell you that sometimes I wake up and realise that I’ve been dreaming about some work related scenario, I honestly mean it!
Sometimes people say that you need to be careful around creating a work-life balance but my life has become my work. I honestly don’t feel like my work is really work. I suppose that’s what happens when you just enjoy what you do. For me having ideas and bringing them to life is the most rewarding and satisfying thing that I can do.
I’m actually undiagnosed/self diagnosed with ADHD and I found that growing up, lots of things I would pick up and drop very quickly while having an extremely short attention span. Boys Get Sad Too is the only thing that’s really ever held my attention long enough for me to put the time and effort into it that I have. I’ve never once lost interest or thought about doing anything else. It just feels good when you do something which impacts other people's lives.
So yeah, work is something that I never stop thinking about.
If I could tell you just one thing...
My piece of advice I would give to anyone reading this: it doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, how much money you have, who is supporting you or teaching you, what degree you have or anything else. If you really want to do something and you’re willing to put the work in, it’s 100% possible for you to reach your goals and to make a difference to other people’s lives.
The power of one really does exist and although the journey is not the quickest and would certainly be quicker with some of the aforementioned things, it is not impossible nor out of your reach to get where you would like to go even when the tide is pushing against you.
If you find something you truly love and are passionate about you can get there with hard work and determination.
A little space for shout-outs
I would like to make a huge shout out to all my family and friends who have supported me. Of course the Boys Get Sad Too team: there are six of us now and I absolutely couldn’t run Boys Get Sad Too without them. They all bring something completely different to the business and each and every one adds value in their own way. They encourage and help me to be the best version of myself by both supporting and questioning me around the decisions we’re making along the way.
I would like to say a massive thank you to anyone who has supported me; I’m not going to mention names as there are far too many to mention. Last but not least, I want to say a massive and huge thanks to anyone who is part of the BGST community. Without our amazing community none of this would’ve been possible and for that I’m forever grateful.
If you could get a warm intro to anyone in the world, who would it be and why?
This may come across as quite stereotypical as I’m sure lots of people in fashion say this but I think a warm intro with Kanye West would be absolutely amazing. Being someone who is hugely influential in the fashion industry and who also has bipolar disorder, I think we would have an amazing conversation on how Boys Get Sad Too can have the biggest impact worldwide. I really do hope that he would appreciate and understand what we are trying to do and that it would resonate with him. I’ll have to leave that question to him if I do ever have a warm intro with him!